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Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain
I suspect I have DID and I want to do something. Yet again, since yesterday feels like I'm in a switch, and my whole head feels a different way.
If I had to explain why I know I have DID, I would say because I am so many different people and I feel like I switch, like sometimes I am one, and many times I am another person who is not me completely and then I stop. I feel broken, splintered in many parts. I cannot explain it better but that's the way it is. Do you feel the same way?
Today and yesterday were days I felt absolutely nothing. For me it's very hard, these days I was attending a course I really hate going to and it tore me up in two, switching everytime I went there, feeling like a different person, getting those horrible feelings again. I think that sums it pretty well. And I have the feeling that the pills my psychiatrist makes me take are good, okay, for some people, many people it might be like that. Yesterday I was reading a webpage on DID and it really convinced me, I have many symptoms of it apart from the memory loss (can someone please tell me if not having memory loss is the definitive proof you don't have DID? Because I read a lot of the memory loss thing, and that's the only thing I don't. I remember quite well everything I do. There's no part of my life I can't account at all for what I was doing. But it can feel distant, however).
I want, I need to tell my mother, the other day I began to, and I'm afraid that it happens again like it happened when i was 14. I ha dmore or less the same problems I have now and in the end, too much pain, I did nothing with the psychologist or with my life, yeah, my life improved somewhat, but in the long term I can see i did a few things wrong maybe.
Today I don't feel like myself. I've been trying to shake (because I get tremors and shake from switching) but sometimes people are watching and feels like, maybe, I don't have alters at all. I've been already in this thing of "being all okay" and not being okay at all. How can I explain people to which extent I am used to lying to people, maybe even to myself? Well, not to myself, but I spend such a big amount of time hiding. And my parents are the best people in the world, but they know nothing. I want to change psychologist so he can tell me whether I have did or not...because my psychologist doesn't believe on it at all.
i'll keep telling after, now got things to do.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain
(can someone please tell me if not having memory loss is the definitive proof you don't have DID?
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memory problems in general do not say you have or do not have DID...
a person who has no memory problems ....well I have yet to meet that person.
you see humans normally do not remember every single thing.. every human being even normal people have things they can not remember.....
they forgot where they put something
forgot to do their homework
locked their self out of their car because they forgot to take the keys with them
forgot to buy something at the store
forgot to do their chores
forgot how to do something at work
forgot to turn off the coffee maker
forgot to watch their dinner on the stove and burned their meal
forgot how much money they have in the bank and accidentally over drew their account
forgot to make their lunch for work
forgot to gas up the car
forgot to call a friend.....
the list goes on....human being do not have the type of brain that allows them to remember every single moment, every single plant, every single person, every single conversation, every single what ever...
even people with photographic memory have been documented as being able to remember one picture flawlessly and not remember other things.
its just not humanly possible to have a flawless memory and remember ever single thing, moment, second of a persons life.
the type of memory problems with DID is different then just remembering or not remembering..
the human brain functions differently when a person is dissociated. Which can be documented through MRI and other brain scans of people that get tested before, during and after a dissociative event.
when a person is dissociated they remember things differently even things they think they remember there are differences between what is reality and what their brain had to interpret differently because they were dissociated.
the best thing you can do for yourself if you think you have DID is contact your treatment providers and get tested. if you are here in america the tests include, mental and physical health evaluations.