I think you aren't feeling yet because you aren't ready. You need more time and there is nothing wrong with that. Seeing your stepson may be bringing up some conflicting and competing thoughts and feelings about then, now, and the future.

How wonderful that he is mature enough at 23 to make the effort to seek you out and to tell you how you influenced his life. He is the only one who can say with any truthfulness what influence you had and have.....your ex can only guess. I hope you two keep in touch for both your sakes.

ECHOES