I can see you're frightened. I can also see you're reaching out for understanding. You aren't too far gone to ask for help, I think. You might just be too afraid to admit the problem to the right person. Please find a disinterested third party to put the question to. "Should I seek help". If that person says yes, please ask that they help you find help. I'm sure they would. No one wants to see another suffer.

Please make a call today to any hotline and ask the question. Please.

Good luck hun --- Really - Sincerely, Patt