I have a long history of not being able to cry when appropriate.
Recently, my son and I had a relatively minor spat and I felt very badly because I knew what he was saying was true but also that he was protecting himself as he is feeling vulnerable right now (grown son, not child) because he is staying with me to get back on his feet after an unexpected event in his life.

I e mailed him that I did know what he was saying & asked for some help in making things a bit better for hi/us. I signed it "love, mom"
He emailed back "(sister's name) and I both agree that one thing that has never been in question is that you do love us." He also told me verbally that I am generous, and intelligent. My eyes are filling.
Now, he will be picking up his son and meeting his sister, her partner, his dad/my ex at the summer place I inherited and gifted to the kids a few years ago; and I feel sad, alone, left out while also feeling glad for them...
I feel incredibly lucky and incredibly sad/a loser all at once.
The eyes fill but the tears won't fall.. Think I'll go and knit.
This relentlessly humid, hot, thick weather does not help.