Thanks Petunia, again

Your metaphor really hit home with me.

The one that I created to describe my situation is that I'm tied to a railroad track with a speeding train headed my way. My husband is at the control station. All he needs to do is pull a lever to divert the train to a different track, but he is apathetic, depressed, and lacks the energy to pull the lever.

Ironic that I'd whip out that metaphor after my post in Relationships where I'm complaining about my own lack of drama

I was really trying to avoid meds since I'm trying to get knocked up (rather unsuccessfully, I might add). Lexapro was phenomenal, but isn't rated well for pregnancy so I guess it'll be back to Welbutrin, even though it didn't help much. I also upped my yoga membership and will make a point to go often over the next few weeks.

Thanks Petunia - you're a good pal

(ps - Before anyone jumps on me and says "don't get pregnant until he gets his act together", remember that I'm 37 and have been trying for over a year, so I really don't have much time left to "wait". I have no issue financially raising a child alone, if that's what it comes down to, and I don't want to miss my window of opportunity and resent him even more as a result. So I'm going for it, although yes, I worry tremendously about whether my child, if I can make one, will suffer in some was as a result of my selfish decision. But darn it, can I please be selfish for once in my life? Please?)