Ah, I figured out the quotes. Finally. I sometimes reply on my phone, hence short posts. This one though, makes me want to give a little more background on the situation.

I've been both very glad and incredibly sad about keeping those emails. They served a purpose in both the divorce and in dispelling some of the rumors and attempts at rewriting history. They've also been difficult to see, but something in me just won't let me delete that folder. I did however, let hurtful feelings well up. It eats me alive that he would even go there - she knew he had a son and an ex wife when she willingly became his mistress. She was one cheat too many... after an incident where he pulled a knife on me, he was placed in the barracks and given a no contact (with me) order. (He's military). I later discovered, post divorce, that she was caught in the barracks with him, multiple times. My ex husband later admitted that, even after the knife incident, he fully expected that I was going to allow him to come home and that we would eventually work it out. All the while, dallying with this girl, who was 10 years our junior (we're both 35 this year, they were 22 and 32 respectively when she gave him her number at his job. Gross) I truly believe he was shocked when I sat him down and told him we needed to work out the details of our divorce. I told him I was filing and if he didn't want a messy, dragged out fight, we needed to come to an agreement. We did, and I filed the divorce. I moved out September 22, she moved in that night. Pictures later sent of her snuggled on the sofa with my son revealed that my home was still decorated exactly the same, right down to the arrangement of the furniture. That was disturbing. She moved right into my life, without batting an eyelash, or even trying to remove the remnants in the home that were clearly me. It was pretty disgusting.

That's confirmed. I've spoken to her ex husband (who she was married to when she moved in with my ex). She had had two previous miscarriages, yet went into the relationship with my ex husband alleging she could not have children (that's on IM from him too, lamenting that his then "girlfriend" couldn't have children. I told him he was a fool if he believed it. And, lo and behold, not one month later... ugh). I often think my ex waited to marry her until the pregnancy was viable based on the timing of the marriage.

Yes and no. First, the only diamond he could have given her was sold long ago. And, she doesn't wear a ring. Now, when he and I married, it went like this: We had been together a year and ended up splitting up. We cancelled the lease on our home (we had moved in together about three months prior) and I moved out and, moved on. I was casually dating. This was back in the days of Myspace, and I posted a picture of me and the casual boyfriend. This prompted an immediate phone call from him (I had no idea he was still checking my page. I thought he had moved on too... he had a girlfriend). He was in tears, telling me that seeing that picture told him I was never coming back. I tried to be kind and console him. Consoling him led to weekly phone calls, then daily. We were considering getting back together. He had played push pull for far too long (we were at almost a year and a half of off and on at this point). I told him if he wanted me back, he would have to demonstrate a HUGE effort (not believing he would). I told him he would have to 1)find us an apartment, on his own 2)he had six months to propose 3)he had a year for us to get pregnant. He managed to nail down the home and proposing within two months. And then, we got pregnant on the first try. Sooner than we expected, so we ended up JOPing it about a week after the positive pregnancy test. So, you could say that he was "made" to marry me. I had boundaries, and I expected him to stop jerking me around and make an honest woman of me.

See above.

I'm not sure what he realized. I only know that when he mentioned she was "moving back in" after being gone for a month, I expressed feelings of sadness that things seemed to be getting serious quickly for him, just three months post divorce. He flatly stated he wasn't sure if he loved her, but she loved him, for him (which was a problem in his eyes) and he wasn't looking for "anything serious". She popped pregnant not a month later. He concealed the pregnancy from me. I had to find out from a mutual friend when she was about six months along. I ended up having to be the person to prepare our son for a new baby sister... as he planned to take him for a visit post birth, and spring a new stepmom and a new baby on him, in his old home, all at once. And he refused to tell our son about the arrival of his sister on his own. Being that there was a sibling on the way, I attempted to be kind to his new wife... our children share a father. That went the way of the dodo realllllly quick. All my kindness did was cause her to become arrogant and behave as though I was inferior to her. No way was I putting up with that.

I guess so. The first visit with his son after the baby was born (his first visit with him with her in the house), I had to endure her telling me I couldn't call my son, her constant attacks on my parenting (she had the audacity to text things to me, disparaging me as a parent. Example: he asked for McDonalds, and told her his favorite foods were macaroni and cheese and grapes. She took this as me not ever feeding him properly, and openly attacked me for it, despite the fact that 99% of his meals are extremely healthy). I would later discover that her idea of an appropriate meal was a "cheesy roll up" from Taco Bell (a whopping 200 calories, a tortilla with nacho cheese... not enough for a growing boy at all) and that she screamed at our son and berated him when he cried because he missed his mom (these things came out in therapy for him; he came home from a summer visit with nervous, anxious behavior and we immediately went to therapy. We also discovered in therapy that she cared for him unsupervised for 12 hours a day... and my ex husband was not aware of her behaviors and denies them to this day) When I confronted her with her behavior, she alleged my son loved her and called her mom. Not true... the day he came home he called for her from the bathroom, by name. He needed his butt wiped. I still kind of laugh about that. At the pickup for that visit, my ex and I actually went to dinner together with our son and were kind, graceful and very nice to each other. Once she discovered that happened, that's when the war started.

Maybe so. She accuses me of treating her as "less than the dirt under my fingernails". I'm sorry, I tried to be kind. No difficult task, considering she was my ex's mistress... and while I don't fully blame her for the break up of our marriage, I feel she shares the culpability with both the ex and me. Even in the face of that, I knew this woman was going to be a part of my sons life and while I didn't like it, I did my best to accept it and behave gracefully. That went out the window when she started attacking me.

I think you're on target with this, no doubt. I've made many comments disparaging her due to her age and parenting inexperience (albeit, after her behaving like a wretched you-know-what). This is what makes her say I treat her like dirt. Meh. I don't owe her anything.

You're likely correct on this. I hope her hatred of me and feelings of inferiority are powerful motivators... you know, to get a job and an education (she's never had a job). Beyond that, I feel that her insecurities are the actual reason why my ex doesn't call our son. In the post-divorce litigation, he asked for Skype visits with our son once per week. Once it was made clear by my son's therapist that he didn't think contact with the stepmom unsupervised was appropriate (our son expressed in therapy how he felt about her behavior and treatment of him in no uncertain terms), my ex was informed that the Skype visits were for him. He didn't take the first one. He returned our son early from the last visit. He's no longer "allowed" to pick our son up or drop him off without her (she left their very sick child home with a family member to drive with him 24 hours to prevent him "being alone with me"). In all honesty, I feel she is behind the "wish to surrender his rights"... to make his life more peaceful. If the way she has talked to me is one bit of indication, I'm sure she isn't kind to the ex regarding our son.

If my husband's feelings are one tenth of hers, then, to her, my son is a constant reminder that there was a life before her (both her and my husband seem to dislike this thought immensely). At a court hearing last year, both of our spouses were present. The bailiff told them both that they had to wait outside of the courtroom. I have to give my husband credit, he accepted this gracefully. Not the new wife though. She stomped around, slammed the bathroom door, the works. She doesn't like the boundaries I had legally set for her at that hearing (it was put in the paperwork that all discussions regarding our son went between my ex and I, not her and I) and while my husband respects this and doesn't insert himself in the dealings with my ex husband, every other week she's texting me posing as my ex (I can tell by the grammar, syntax and spelling it isn't him, and I just politely text "please give the phone back to "Tom"). She hates me, and I don't like her one bit either. I feel this dynamic creates even more problems between the ex and me. Couple that with unresolved feelings and a general lack of real closure for me, and possibly for him, it makes it a hotbed of negative emotions. Thankfully, I've been smart enough to shield our son from it.

I just wish we could have gotten along post divorce the way we have this week. Well, up until today. Like I said, he's cold again. Ugh, so much more to say. But this is a novel already.