So if you're not aware, here in the UK we have a mental health team for children and a separate one for adults. In the child mental health team I had a therapist and a psychiatrist who had, pretty much, been with me for the entire four years I was with the adult team.

The child team was fantastic. They had issues but they knew me and my disorder in and out. They understood I was forgetful and have anxiety issues with attending appointments and knew exactly how both Aspergers and Bipolar affects me and how urgent I sometimes need assistance. I knew exactly what to do if I needed help - I had my main mental health team and three individual crisis team numbers.

Then I got moved to the adult team when I turned 18. And there didn't seem to be a problem, until recently when now I've had a relapse (thread about this relapse is called 'Here we go again'). In the adult team I have a social worker, a psychiatrist (and due to a recent appointment, soon I will have a new therapist). If I want a medication review, I have to go through my social worker. If I need assistance when suicidal, I need to go to my social worker. And when I want to see my (soon-to-be) therapist, I have to go through my social worker. I had an appointment scheduled following the appointment with my psychiatrist and social worker which led to a quitiapine increase. I missed this appointment because I forgot all about it and have been suffering with memory and concentration issues.

I called the following day after my mom reminded me about the appointment to apologise and rearrange it. I got through to reception, she wasn't in, so I left a message with her. I called the following day, left another message. A week and FOUR messages later, I had a missed call from my social worker (phone was on silent) and a voicemail saying she'll call back the next day or I can call her in case SHE forgets! Nonetheless I did call the next day at about 9:30am and I left a message at reception because she wasn't in yet. I then called the hours later and got told she was in a meeting and to leave a message with the receptionist, which I did. Another week later? No call, no luck getting through to my social worker. I'm getting more and more depressed by the day. The medication increase hasn't worked. I've relapsed into self harm as of today. And this is making things worse.

I have a history of suicide attempts (once very nearly succeeding) and hospitalisation both in psychiatric units and general hospital due to artery and nerve damage from self injury. Child services knew this severity and therefore dealt with me urgently.

Sometimes I feel more inclined to end my life just due down to the fact that having no support there like I used to makes me feel even more like nobody cares.

This is ridiculous. I can't do it :'(