I couldn't agree more. I'm a woman and I've been on okcupid in the past, and I can tell you that if she does not want to meet up with you fairly quickly, then she never will.

While I may be in the minority here, I can say that, for myself, if I stop responding to someone on okcupid, it DOES mean that I am NOT interested and never will be. And, if I get repeat messages from the same person, it definitely creeps me out and makes me avoid them. It sends me the signal that they are desperate, and that's just not attractive. It makes me think "I'm busy, I have a life, I'm getting more messages than I can possibly respond to-- why does this person have so much time to message me again and again? Do they not have a job, hobbies, friends, other dates, etc. that keep them busy?"

I think you might have the most success if you focused on the quality of your first e-mails to the women you find appealing. Talk about your job, hobbies, friends, social activities etc. that demonstrate that you do have things going on. And, then, in subsequent e-mails, say things like "hey, I just got back from doing X, and I thought I'd just send you a message to see how it's going. What have you been up to? I got X and Y going on this week, but I'd love to make time to meet up with you; you sound like a lot of fun." Clearly, you can polish that up and fill in the blanks-- I'm just trying to suggest that you make yourself sound like you have things going on in your life so you avoid coming across as desperate. Asking someone "hey, do you still want to hang out?" makes you sound desperate and probably will not get you what you want. In that kind of a message, you haven't told her anything new/interesting about yourself, nor have you given her any reason to WANT to meet up with you. You've simply told her that you're really keen on meeting her-- just like all the other people messaging her. If you want to stand out and be the one she picks for a date, you have to give her a reason.