Quote:
Originally Posted by spondiferous
Life is different for everyone. I'm not sure where this idea comes from that we have to have accomplished such-and-such by this age or that age. I wish I never worked til 30. (I'm 34 now.) I started working at 12 and basically never did anything else. I too had a fear of driving - the only person in my entire class who didn't fly into the licensing office on my 16th birthday to write for my learner's permit. My dad took me down there. His deal, not mine. I failed the written three times in a year and gave up. two years ago I took it and passed. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could overcome the fear. My dad paid for me to do driver's training - $2000 - which I guiltily complied with since he paid so much for it and isn't a wealthy person, and y'know what? I hate driving. I hate it. Jobs will come, relationships will come, and you will likely find that you don't feel much better than you do now. Not to condescend, or to write off your concerns and doubts as irrelevant; they are far from that. They help make you who you are. But to be honest, I remember when I was 20. I felt the same way as you do now. And now I'm 34, and I've got all the things I wanted plus some and guess what? Still feel the same way.
The things do not make us.
Focusing on the things, though, above all else, and envisioning them as the be-all-end-all, can hold us back from having a life we can enjoy.
Just be true to you, live one day at a time, and try not to define yourself by 'stuff'.  Good luck with the process.
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Yeah you're right. I know that if I were to have all of those things, I'd just be an empty person with a boyfriend, job, and ability to drive. Or I could be worse and could become an empty person that is dependent on someone else to occasionally feel happy. That's very VERY scary to me and I don't want to ever mess with that. It might be one of the scariest things I can think of because what happens when he leaves me? I know I need to fix my problems from the inside out and I know that I have a lot of work to do before I'd be capable of entering a healthy relationship. But for whatever reason that knowledge doesn't always help the way I feel about it