I see a therapist online, few times a week, sometimes phone sessions. I've been doing extremely intense work lately and this week is rough. We've been doing daily check ins. She told me something affirming today, and I felt so happy that I told her I could give her a big hug. Then I asked "how are you with hugs?"

This was all in an email session.
She just replied that 'she was pleased that I was pleased' didn't say anything about the hug.

I felt... rejected, like I'd overstepped.

I chatted with her afterward, for a whole hour!!! I was trying to work up my courage to tell her I didn't think she cared about me as much as I cared about her. I spent $100 before I could even ask her to reread my email and reply.

She did and emailed me right back: "Oh, yes, I love hugs and I welcome your big virtual hug, XXXX. Sorry I missed that, but I got involved in what followed. I never want to ignore a hug! Have a good night"

I'm SO mad. Mad at how hard it is for me to ask the question twice, mad at her for not answering it the first time, mad mad mad, and sad. I emailed her how stupid I felt for not asking her again sooner and mad that she didn't answer the first time, that I knew my expectations were too high, for people to read *everything* I wrote and reply accordingly.

She said our chat was significant, even if it resulted from her missing a question, but I'm mad at myself for spending all that money when I didn't need to. So mad, so frustrated.