I'm on my phone, so sorry in advance for the short reply. It's a big Ol pain to type on here. Lol. Thanks Hamster for your well thought out replies in all of this. I too find it super odd she's wanting to rewrite history but was all to comfy moving into my old home and not changing the most minor detail. Kind of single white female-ish. He didn't attack me with the knife... He was convinced I was cheating (I wasnt), but I did nothing to dispel the belief and toward the end, encouraged the thought (let him suffer too). The night of the knife incident, he was fully convinced there was a man in the house. He came into the bedroom, knife in hand. And of course, found only me, on the computer. He left, but the military locked him down and forced a 72 hr mental health hold.... During which he admitted that had there been a man in the home, he planned to kill me, kill this "man" and then, himself. He would have left that for our son to find. That was when I finally filed for divorce. I had the fleeting thought that we might not both be alive had I not left and it wasnt going to be me. He was diagnosed with PTSD then. I feel now that I abandoned him when he was clearly suffering.

I guess the biggest hurdle is the still unresolved issues, the general lack of closure, the constant fighting, during which he made it easy to be away because I was angry. Now that I've made a conscious choice to lay aside my anger, which covered everything, I'm forced to deal with the things I wouldn't before.

A coward. Absolutely. I've said that many, many times. Just because I finally remarried doesn't mean his sons life isn't enriched by his good qualities, and even just the fact that he is his biological father. It hurts to watch him abandon him... And I can't help but feel it is in reaction to me abandoning him.