Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I would dare to venture, that if you can go through the days, without constantly thinking of them, nor of looking at her picture--well, that, I have no idea how often you do, then it could be attraction.
But to have the constant need to try and remember what they look like, etc, on a daily basis, would sound more like object constancy and that article about Adult Attachment theory would tie into why that could be.
Does it border on obsessive thinking or is it something similar, to hey, that person I see working behind the counter at a certain location is pretty cute and just looking forward to each encounter. Without disappointment if you don't see them.
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I do find that I look at her pic just about every day. Its just a reassurance that she's real. Its calming for me to see her. I don't see her pic and think romantically about it. I think she is attractive, but that's not why I have the 'need' to see the pic. I look at it and say, "Okay, there she is. She's real." and that's about it. Sounds so silly when I read back over this.
I did ask her the other day if she would show me some pics on facebook. She hesitated and asked me how that would help me. I told her that it would help me to see her as a 'normal' person. She went on to explain that she IS a normal person, but she did show me a recent pic of her with her dad.
Of course, she wanted to know how that made me feel. My response was something like, "That makes me think you are normal. A normal person doing normal things that everyone else does." It reassures me that I am okay talking to her and trusting her.
I have severe abandonment issues for some reason! I just need to know that people are going to still be around and not leave me. I only have this fear with her and my husband. I fear that one of them will leave me. I can't make it without either one of them. They are my support system. Hopefully, I will get strong enough one day not to need my therapist for support, but right now I do need her to be there for me.