Hello! I don't know if I should add a trigger warning to this?

I used to suffer with Anorexia for a while and two years ago I guess I managed to achieve full recovery, physically and mentally. By mentally, I mean I'm able to resist and control my disordered thoughts even though they're still there. I've learned to cope with it.

But even though I've recovered, I found some remnants of the disorder stuck with me. I'm still extremely preoccupied with food. I have to know what my family members are eating at all times and get extremely frustrated when (according to my mind) they're not eating enough at the time. It's not like they're restricting or anything, they could be doing that because they're still really full from eating a big breakfast, and I know that, my rational mind knows that, but I'm still unable to control my frustration during situations like that. My family's learned to ignore me whenever I have these sudden outbursts, which I'm glad they are, to be honest. I don't want them to think that I'm intentionally hurting their feelings or anything. I just can't help it.


Also, whenever I'm watching the television with my family and if someone in the show we're watching at the time is eating, I tend to feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes I close my ears until the scene is over. I just can't stand it.

Further more, I think about food all the time. Every minute of the day. During breakfast, I'm already thinking about lunch and dinner. I used to be that way when I was restricting, and I thought I was like that because my body was starving. But I doubt my body's starving now, so I'm really confused and overall, it's extremely draining. Anyone else (who's sort of completely recovered) going through this as well?