Ok. So for the last month, I've been having terrifying dreams about being consumed by the ocean. And also very violent dreams of me beating people I don't recognize and last time, straight murdering them. I have grown up in a beach town my entire life. Literally, walking distance about 10 min. I did just quit a job I have had for 5 1/2 years. And I started working on the wharf. (Pier, whatever you want to call it) I love, love, LOVE the ocean. My new job has been starting off pretty slow, and I have MOST DEFINITELY been stressed out about paying rent, as its very expensive to live here, and I'm not making nearly enough to get by.
Anywaayyysss. In every dream I can remember recently, the ocean is crashing on me and I feel drowned, extremely uncomfortable, and scared. I always wake before I feel something bad is going to happen. ( like dying ) I wake up basically drenched in sweat, and I don't even want to go back to sleep. Also, I have never been known to sleep walk. But two nights ago, I was drinking with some co workers. Nothing unusual. Drank about 4 pints and went home. I remember every part if it except for what my boyfriend said I did. Apparently, I woke up at about 1am. He was in the living room watching tv, when I came out there, shut the sliding glass door and started moving stuff around on our coffee table. He said he kindly asked what I was doing, (I do not recall ANY of this) and I told him I was 'bringing up the ocean'. He kept asking what I was talking about and even thought I was tripping on something. Which I can assure you, I took no drugs that night. Just drank beer with friends. I kept just pointing to the wall behind him, and kept repeating "I'm bringing up the ocean!".
He obviously had no idea what I was talking about. And apparently, I just got frustrated and went to bed. Then, (I remember this) I woke up I guess 10 mins later and was hungry. I microwaved some pasta I had left over, and my bf asked if I was 'bringing up the ocean'. I don't know why, but I got super defensive when he told me what happened. I just couldn't believe I did that, and it kinda scared me. Then last night I had a scary ****ing dream with what seemed like a giant, white dragon in the ocean with a beluga whale face. I was in a giant abandoned beach shack with people I didn't know, and what seemed like suppressive authority figures trying to burn the place down with us in it. I ended up killing 3 of them, which seemed like forever. I felt I was the hero in the end, but I woke in a sweat and it took me hours to feel comfortable to get out of bed. It basically ruined my day. There's more to it, but this is already so long. Oh! And my dream before that was me literally, beating this girl who'd I've never seen before to a pulp. Like, brutally kicked her *** in ways I thought I could never think of. (I.e. grabbed her with both my hands on her neck, put her face under a table and just smashed her skull) yea, I know. I'm not a violent person AT ALL so that's why I came here. I also recently cut back on smoking weed IMMENSELY. Mostly because I cant afford it right now. But I literally smoked every single day. Ugh. I really appreciate if any of you stuck through this long *** message for me. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid to sleep. Please&Thank you for any feedback.