thanks all.
nicoleflynn, I am in therapy, but everyone is unavailable for the weekend because of the holiday.
I will try the activity. the anger paralyzes me quite a bit after the burst of verbal anger. it never gets physical, but I still hate it. and it feels like it comes out of nowhere. i wish there was more warning, but it literally hits out of nothing. I need to start paying more attention to the triggers...
I'm in an ok mood at the moment, so I hope it stays.