No, of course not. I'd like to think that my e-mails are usually witty, funny, and smile-inducing

But in this particular case-- after talking to my T about boundaries-- I wrote this girl a polite but honest e-mail about how her actions were affecting me, how she was violating my boundaries even after I set limits with her, and how I could not continue a friendship with her if she were not going to respect my boundaries. The things I mentioned in the e-mail were how she brought drugs into my house, did drugs in my bathroom, and passed out (causing me to take her to the hospital), how she subsequently listed me as her emergency contact without asking me so I get called now every time she takes drugs and winds up in the hospital (which is often), how she routinely calls/texts me after midnight despite my making it clear that was a boundary for me (I have to get up for work!), how it affects me when she makes plans with me and does not show up (so I sit there waiting), how she calls me for bail money when she gets arrested for drugs and DUI (which I do not give; another boundary), how she got drunk and touched me inappropriately in an attempt to hook up with me (NOT wanted!), and how it is inappropriate for her to talk to her friend (my student) about details about my personal/dating life.

I do think that, in this instance, it would not be "wrong" on my part to hope that my writing her a heartfelt e-mail about all of the things she's done that have impacted me and violated my boundaries, caused her to think: "Gee, maybe I should re-evaluate what I'm doing." I also thought she might feel badly when she saw, in print, how her actions have affected me negatively, and I thought she might be sad about losing my friendship. That is why I thought it might dampen her mood. I didn't expect that, on the same day I wrote her that letter, she'd be posting "best day ever! never been happier!" As other have suggested, she might have been fibbing on her fb. But if she really could read my e-mail and have no emotional reaction, go have fun with others, and have "the best day ever!"-- then I truly am at a loss for words. When I asked her before (shocked!) about why she listed me as her emergency contact, she said it was because she had no one else and I was the only responsible person she knew who was still there for her. Every time I thought about cutting her out of my life before, that line replayed in my head and it made me want to give her another chance. It was hard for me to send the e-mail, cutting her off, because I was afraid she'd have no one left. I was afraid about what might happen to her. I assumed that hearing that I, too, couldn't take it anymore (her family also cut her off recently)-- maybe it would be a "wake up call" for her. Or, at least, I hoped it might be.

I fully agree that "right" and "wrong" are relative and that there are no universal moral standards. However, I do believe that one's behavior needs changing if one is frequently ending up in the hospital from a drug overdose, driving drunk, and failing to respect others' boundaries. It's not so much that these are "morally wrong" but, rather, that they are dangerous and life threatening-- not only for her, but for others as well (i.e. she could kill someone else by driving while drunk/high-- she could get me arrested by bringing drugs into my home, without my permission).