Today was challenging. It was my second full day after talking to T, and unfortunately, it was just a day after talking to pdoc who weighed me...so I didn't do very well. I had a fruit and yogurt smoothie, a handful of cereal, and about a half portion of spaghetti with chicken and pesto which was super hard for me to eat because I had already tried so hard to eat the "right" amount yesterday. I was literally almost in tears doing it and it took me at least 20 minutes to finish. My pdoc is right though, it's good that I'm emetophobic (I told her that when she asked if I ever purge)...because if I weren't, I have a feeling that all would've gone down the toilet. And even though I barely made any success today, it feels like too much. I told myself that if I finished my spaghetti I wouldn't have to eat again today...totally defeatist I may eat some fruit later...fruit is on my "good" list, so if I can eat a serving of fruit later, then today will have been pretty successful -- eating 3 times rather than 1 or 2.