I am sorry but this is just too funny.

You are clearly amazing. You write with such wit that it almost makes me cry.

He is clearly a complete idiot.

It seems that the ONE and ONLY justification for his existence on this planet (I do not know whether I should credit god or the process of darwinian selection for the fact of his existence, so I am mentioning both sources to be on the safe side) is to somehow inspire your wonderful stories.

I really do not see what else he might have a calling for. He does seem like a complete idiot.

Since you have already written a few very good stories taking your inspiration from his bizarre, self-obssessed, and generally pathetic ways of leading his miserable existence while being attached to an inanimate buzzing device called a cell phone and while constantly ignoring the real and true gem that he does not see in his real girlfriend, my ONLY question is: why don't you move on and find new inspiration for new stories in some other guys, who just might prove to be not so pathetic?