Sorta here, sorta not. I'm finding that whatever I'm doing, I have in the back of my mind some of the horrible things I've gone through based on one of my triggers. In this case, my oldest sister. It's possibly because she's supposed to have provided me with a phone number but has yet to do so. I take it as I'm simply not important to her in her world. Although that sounds really harsh, I also know it to be true.

Not many have sisters who have said to them "I wish you'd just die". I could accept that as just spouting off if we were pre-teens. However, we're in our mid fifties and she's said it several times. One day I might just be pushed to the point of accommodating her, I fear. It sits with me a lot. ::