From my personal experience......I should have left my H long before I did for my own good & for our daughter's own good even though he was a good caring father, he was financially irresponsible & never learned.

Problem started with his attitude that I was an issue with me before we got married & it was a red flag to me...but listened to my mother & was talked into going through with the wedding.

We had different values & way different goals we wanted from life. He was always trying to push me into doing things financially that with my education & degree I knew were wrong.

We fought non-stop.....then year 3 came our daughter & we fought even more because I wasn't about to postpone finishing my degree.

Problem was that the fighting escalated & my buttons would get pushed & I didn't care what I said or how I said it.....& our daughter learned from that.

My career was my hiding place from my bad marriage (ended up a firmware design engineer in the aerospace industry programming military communication's systems).....but when the aerospace industry went down hill & I ended up not being able to find a position any longer, I felt trapped in the bad marriage. My anxiety went into depression which ended up in suidide attempts as I felt that was my only way out of my trapped place.

Our daughter lived with all of this going on & the worse happened during her senior year in high school. She moved out in her 1st year of junior college......It ended up messing up her ability to have reasonable relationships. When I finally was able to escape the bad marriage 6 years ago, & my language & my peace & everything changed almost immediately......but my daughter's language never changed......it was like it was a part of her learned behavior.....where for me, it was just my bad reaction to the bad situation I was in but not really ME.

I would personally say....it's best to end the marriage. Usually things become so much more peaceful after the divorce & it's much better for the children even if they have problems....maybe some of the problems they have will go away in a more calm & peaceful life style around them.