I would seriously recommend therapy. You need to find out why you lie. It will need some help from the outside to get your ideas sorted out. I think you really want to be a person who can be trusted but you're afraid that if you tell the truth you'll be rejected. But you aren't being yourself and that makes you feel dead. I think it would be pretty scary to always having to invent yourself. How complicated---how tiring. Please see someone soon . Let your friend know that you are having a little trouble and to be patient with you.
Continue to post here. We'll be very interested in how you go on. As you see you are not the only one with this problem. You can really help some people if you take courage and get help.
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