The desire for revenge is probably the toughest I had to deal with. Hopefully I can talk to a therapist or some loving person about this. Yeah, the fifth grade teacher who used to make me cry...well it wasn't entirely his fault. After all, some of it had to be mine because i caused some of hte trouble. but he did say some mean things like you're like nelson muntz from the simpson who hates it when people laugh at you but has no problem laughing at others. i guess i did act that way. i didn't really see how wrong i could be and how wrong he coudl as well. he was pretty harsh as well. I didn't want to be in his class in the first place so i asked for a transfer to another class. That did not work because my reasons weren't convincing enough. I believe the principal was trying to make my life miserable after the lie i told him about my other teacher hitting me. I was mad. I did not want to learn in his class. I wanted to just leave and never come back. I never liked that class and I never wanted to be friends with the people in that class. So what did I do? Give a bad attitude and then finally being nice and wanting to be friends with them. That's how it had been for me. I treated others well but I didn't treat some that great. I was also very biased. I didn't like the way they look, the way they behaved, and i thought i was all better. this went on in middle school. similarities you can find are i did not want to be in that school and i hated the class that i was in. I wanted to be in a better class and when i got there i still acted the same. i wanted to be treated nice in the end because i stopped but of course people aren't that forgiving. as a result, i was bullied, made fun of, got my pants pulled down, and endured a lot of insults. when i think about it sometimes, i just wish i can get back at them.
life isn't always fair to me and that's why i acted the way i did. i believed that i deserved better.