And once again -

back on track of what this thread is for -

my answer to Bipol's wanting to know more about the side of me that does sand trays and so forth which is MY therapy program Which Bipol posted to me in Kudos.

ALL OTHER ISSUES WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED HERE FOR IN MY FIRST POST (AND OTHERS AFTER )IN THIS THREAD I (AND OTHER READERS OF THIS THREAD) HAVE MADE IT VERY CLEAR WHAT THIS THREAD WAS GOING TO CONTAIN -

MY therapy program for MY having DID
MY experiences for MY having DID
MY research for MY having DID

SKR and I did alot of hands on activities. for starters we didn't stay in her office for sessions.At first she came to me because I had a broken foot with strick doctors orders to be a couch potatoe. There were many times when I had no choice but to go against that because the DHS caseworker refused to take my broken foot and the fact that I have cerebal palsy and it was taking longer then usual to heal. So SKR and I did what we could by having my sessions at home. It was during this time that I started having a nightmare of a living breathing house- and not just any house but the one that I grew up in - was not letting me out. No matter what door I tried to use, no matter what window I tried to go out of in that night mmare I could not get free. Talking about this nightmare did no good It just kept coming.

One day was reading a published journal by a survivor. In it it said she had a nightmare about some abuse that had happened to her in her childhood home. She made a shoebox version of the nightmare and it faded away.

I told SKR about it and she thought it was worth a shot. But no matter how hard I tried and how small I drew and cut the construction paper I could not fit a breathing house nightmare into a womens size 8 shoe box.

So I gave up trying. Instead I created a scale model of the house I grew up in and then after 6 months of getting up every night and putting one thing new from the nightmare into the house I cut down the outside corner of the house and glued on string to bow tie the walls together. Now no matter what room I was in all I had to do was pull the string and the wall would fall and I was free.

That night that I completed that first scale model house was the last night that I had that specific nightmare for I figured out in doing the activity that I was afraid of going back to that house and afraid I would get trapped into staying there. this t hought was an illogical one because the house had been sold many many years ago so logically I would never be in that house again let along get trapped in it. Once I understood that the nightmare was a metaphore for my fear of feeling trapped the nightmare went away.

SKR and I came up with alot of ways to get rid of that first house - burn it, smash it you name it between the two of us we thought about it but none seemed to fit until pne day she told me a little girl wanted permission to play with the house during her therapy session. I told SKR just give it to her. now that house can bring someone enjoyment instead of pain. Being made of cardboard that house is probably long gone in that childs garbage but Im told she was definately enjoying it when she had it.

I have since made a second scale model house as a containment box for a nightmare that I am presently having.

Here is the blog entry that explains how I make scale models. -

Art Therapy Projects part 1
I had an emal asking me how to do some of my art projects specifically my house project and making Diaramas. Any references to “You” is directed at the emailer. That does not mean others cannot make their own scale model of the house they grew up on.

All my projects are meant to take alot of time to do and are not meant to be perfect.

They are meant to be done from the point of view of the time frame of the project not from the adult logical point of view.

Im told that memories are stored from the point of view of when the situation is happening not from the point of view that something has happened years ago and is just now after the fact being stored.

So when I am doing memory recall work with a focus on using artistic ways to access those memories I push aside the logical present day point of view and not second guess what I am doing. If I am constantly thinking “no that couldn’t have happened that way” or “no it isn’t supposed to look that way” or “a____ couldn’t have been there” or “that person could not have done that” I will end up getting frustrated with the project and also be missing the point of the project - to remember what happened back in the past from the point of view of when it happened. Sometimes memories don’t make sense or it is more on the emotion of the memory. And second guessing as I go along is a sure way to defeat my own memory process of remembering what happened to me, what I saw, heard, tasted, felt physically or emotionally.

So all my projects just are what they are. There is no hidden meaning and no right and wrong they just are what they are - my experiences or my emotions that I felt back then and so on.

Lets start with the house project. The house project is very involved. It takes alot of time. Materials you will need for scale models is -

coregated cardboard. I used boxes that got from the local grocery and department stores on their days they recive their inventory shipments. I opened them up at the seams.

Scissors

glue, lots of glue. I use elmers because it holds alot better then the dollor store brands and right before school starts I can get lots of it on sale sometimes cheeper then the dollor store.

a ream of plain white photocopy/typing/printing paper. (at the least 1 but you may need more depending on the size of your scale model. reams of paper come with a number of brightness on the label. make sure you get the same brightness when buying more otherwise you may end up with a scale model looking like it is different shades of white.

ruler

pencil

water color paints and or crayons and or markers

popcycle sticks if you want your scale model to be take apart able storable.

The first step is to decide what type of scale model you are going to make. For me it was a house, specifically the house I grew up in.

One you know what your scale model is going to be using a pencil draw on white paper your scale model from as many angles as you can.

For my house I drew floor plans for each floor level of the house including where the doors, windows and stair cases were, a view of the house from the front, back, and both right and left sides.

Then I went though my sketches and wrote in the measurements in some cases a very estimated measurment of how high the walls were wideth and lenght of each room, how many stairs I could remember on each staircase. for my present house project I used the measurement of one inch equaled one foot.

I tried to upload a picture but it just isn’t working so on your floor plans write in your measurements of each wall and floor for height width and length.

To make the house take apart able divide the length by three so you will have three equal floorboards. Once you have your measurements using a pencil and ruler measure out your cardboard and cut the slabs out.

then using some glue and white paper totally cover each cardboard slab completely with the white paper.

After the glue drys take popcycle sticks and lay three sticks on each slab in three spots along the long edge of the slabs so that the sticks on one slab match where the sticks are on the slab next to it.

these are going to be “brackets”. For my house each of my brackets contained three sticks.

once you know where your brackets are going to be take each stick and slightly bend it in the middle,

put glue just on the ends (not where it is bent) and place back where you want the bracket to be.

do this with all bracket sticks and let dry.

Once dry slip a popcycle stick through one bracket on one slab through to and into the bracket on the matching slab.

Once this is done with all three of your floor boards turn the boards so that the sticks are underneath and facing you is whilte floor boards.

Along the edge of the floor place popcycle sticks like you are framing a picture on top of the floorboards.

make sure you don’t glue popcycle sticks over the crack where each floor board meets the next one. otherwise your house will not be take a part able.

Do this four times so that each popcycle stick is now four sticks high. These sticks are going to help hold your foundation walls in place.

Now cut out your 2 width boards one for the right side of the house and one for the left side of the house, and 2 length boards one for the front of the house and one for the back of the house.

Make each boards height the same as the height of your house rooms. for my house I made the foundation boards 8 inches tall.

After you cut them out cover them with glue and white paper and let dry.

once they are dry lay boards down flat and on the two short ends of the board make a one stick bracket. and let dry.

these brackets are going to be used to slip a piece or cardboard through and around the corner into the matching one on the next board basically holding your boards together at the corners.

After the brackets are dry place a board on the flooring against the four stick high popcycle sticks and place a thin piece of cardboard through the bracket around the corners and into the next board of each board.

in a few spots along the inside of your walls where they meet the floor place four high popcycle sticks so that they hold the walls up but be carefull not to use so much glue that you end up gluting the walls to the popcycpe sticks. I avouded this by placing a few sticks in one layer then removing the walls to build the stick four high, then when they dried put the walls back in place You now have your house foundation and or basement made.

To make rooms within the foundation or basement do the same process of making the foundation walls using brackets to hold walls together and four high popcycle sticks to help stabilize the walls.

If you dont have a basement place a slab wall half way though in there anyway it will help stabilize the upper floors of the house.

for each floor level that your house has make the floor boards the same way that you made the floor boards of the foundation.

For each floor level for the outside of the house make the wall boards the same way as you meade the foundation - basement with one exception do NOT “frame” popcycle sticks on the floor boards along the outside edges.

Make brackets on your walls close to the edge where the floor board meets the wall. and in the floor boards of each level take a pointed knife or the scissors and put a slit through the floor board where you want the stick going down though the bracket and into the floor. on the wall of the level below it also make mathching brakets of three sticks per braket. the bottom stick flat and totally glued so that when you place the stick through the upper floor bracket, through the floor slit and into the braket on the lower floor wall it does not go completely out of the bottom bracket.

To add rooms on each level repeat the process of making the basement foundation walls..

Do the same process for making a roof of measuring out slabs covering with white paper and placing three brakets and cardboard through to make it V shaped. if you have slanted to a peak roofs you will need the height to be the same as the height of each floor level and the width the same as the width of the foundation width so that as they slant they will meet in the middle. tohold each roof side together make three bracket on each roof slat along the length of th e roof and slip a piece of cardboard through the brakets from one slab to the other.

Your house skeliton is now done. Go around with a pencil, marker or paint and draw or paint on your windows and doors and any other decorations your house had on it in the past.

To make the inside decor measure out your paper and color or decorate to what your rooms look(ed) like.

furnature, and people? Another entry. have a good night everyone.