I worry a lot about what to tell people if they ask me what I did today. For example I have a roommate, she spent the holiday with her boyfriend.. and she's going to ask me what I did. I want to lie and tell her that I went out and watched the fireworks at the local marina or some bs, we're not really that close so she'd probably believe it, but I feel so pathetic

And I think that I will run into a couple other people that I cannot avoid (kind of like a co-worker) who will ask me what I did.. and I will also lie again and tell them that I did stuff even though I didn't. anyone else have this problem?

i guess.. like.. i was a bit conflicted because on the one hand i felt really pathetic to do something myself.. its almost like i refused to do something by myself, that id rather do nothing at all than have to do something by myself. like i wait until i have a friend or boyfriend, so that i can have someone to share the day with, and if i dont have someone to share this day with then id rather do nothing, because its kind of meaningless to celebrate myself.

but also, i really wanted to do something for myself today. i tried to tell myself that i can still have some fun by myself, enjoy a day out or something, but somehow the day passed before i knew it and i didnt get a chance to do this

now i feel really depressed

i think that if someone asks me what i did today i am going to lie, because i am pathetic
i might say that i was sick and wasnt feeling well so i stayed in and just slept and relaxed (which isnt entirely false)
or that i went to the marina and went shopping and watched fireworks (which i actually didnt)
but they are acquaintances so they wont really care, its just an answer to give people
because if i say that i actually did nothing im too embarassed to say this and then people feel pity for me that i was alone and i dont want that