When we are born we are perfect. Somewhere along the way a person or persons tells us lies.....so we believe them, and hate ourselves and/or cut, etc., to relieve the pain. Are you in therapy? That would be a good start. There is nothing wrong with you....the blame and shame belong the the person/people who made you feel that way. As adults we try to undo those lies/that damage and it takes a lot of work/therapy to see the truth.....and then to accept ourselves and love ourselves.