I am seriously not attracted to anyone sexually anymore. I don't want sex anymore. When I was younger, picking out a complete stranger and having sex was all about control... whether it was a man or woman. I know it was a coping skill, trying to reclaim my body... I choose, you know?
Then it became a way to actually hurt myself. I would just lay there, trying to numb out what was actually being done to my body... felt like I was raping myself, if that makes any sense?
Had single encounter 4 yrs ago.. that lasted all about 2 mins and that was a mistake, making somebody else "happy".
So does this mean I am considered asexual at this point in my life?