Dear friends, I want to tell you my story. Can anyone help, or give ground for thinking. Three years ago my grandparents died . This was a very strong blow for me. The first time I had a panic attack, a few days after their death. I thought about death , that someday I will remain one without my loved ones, and then die. My body is bound terrible fear , me as if paralyzed, I wanted to scream, but couldn't; my heart was beating very fast, I felt like choking. It was horrible, I didn't understand what was happening. Since that day I realized that I was not like others. I am not cheerful, I lost all of life's purpose, I suffered from insomnia, panic attacks have become permanent. The following six months, I did not go out of the house, I was so afraid to be surrounded by people , the world became muddy . At the same time I started anorexia. I can't even count how many times I wanted to commit suicide. I lost all my friends, my parents did not understand me. I lost my job, respect of colleagues and loved ones. Everybody thought I was crazy. I wanted nothing. I could sleep for 16 hours in a row, or didn't get out of bed for several days. I felt a deep loneliness, the meaninglessness of its existence , and it is getting worse. I was constantly crying, and when no more strength to cry, I became unconscious or asleep. One day a former classmate wrote to me, he wants to walk with me. I replied that I didn't come home for half a year already, and it's a bad idea. On the same day he came home with me that was a complete surprise. He brought me canvases , paints and brushes. He Said that creativity will help me. So I began to draw. While I draw, he played guitar funny and good songs. He prepared me food and led a walk in the yard with me. After a couple of months, I realized I felt a little easier. I felt his love, I realized I wasn't alone. Guys, creativity really helps with depression, that's for sure! It is very important to feel the support and understanding, I am very lucky! Let it be one person, but this was enough for me. After half a year he bought me a dog, now I felt responsible for it, and in what would be a terrible moral condition I was, I had to care for my dog, feed, walk with my pet. The dog is great. They so much negative energy take, literally pushed out of the depression. My boyfriend videographer, now he is shooting a film, which can help people with depression. This film he dedicated to me. Dear friends, I still suffer from panic attacks and depression, but I feel much better. Each of us need a man who will and will understand you. Who will help , support, motivate something. This is very important. This is important as the air we breathe , as the water that we drink. I pray for each of you here, I am waiting for your letters, I am willing to help than I can. The main thing - do not lose hope in a better, without faith and hope we are dead!