I don't allow myself to get to that point because when I did it ended up with my child in foster care for a year while both him and I enter therapy and family therapy. Then when he came home he came home violent resulting in his being removed from home to go through residential treatment programs.

I know I didn't cause his violence that is a result of having schizophrenia. But watching me go down and experiencing a parent at that level of depression cenrtainly did not help his problems but instead may be and probably is a part of why he also has PTSD, trouble trusting other people and so on.

Thanks to therapy, three years of medication and a good depression management class I am now able to catch my depression well before it reaches this point.