Healed... I agree with you. The fact that people lie to each other does prove some untrustworthiness.... I see trustworthiness on a continuum...

I look at motive... does my H lie to me to cover his butt for something out right wrong he has set out to do that he knows would upset me? does my H see telling the truth as a potential conflict situation and therefore lies because he can't handle the perceived conflict?

In black and white... they are both lies. For me since learning of his issue with conflict, I decide which things to get upset about.

that being said... I still don't trust his answers about his feelings about things because if he sees it as a potential conflict there is a chance he will say what I want to hear and not the truth....