Its so hard to know what is the "right" thing to do... In the past, my H has parentified this relationship... it appears that he has wanted me to tell him he couldn't do things that we couldn't afford so that he could "blame" me and then I get to be the bad guy. He would pull the same thing with the kids... He would say we could do something when we didn't have the money for it and then make me out to be the bad guy when it came to telling kids we couldn't do it...

so by separating the bills it has really squashed most of that because the only money that is "at stake" is his share of the common bills in both of our names...

He needs to see it as his responsibility and not need to have me point it out to him...just not sure how to make that happen without me and the kids paying for the consequences too... like not paying electric or cable which we would all suffer same with the cell phone bill, etc...