started bilateral treatments in october, finished in january.

i'm still holding out hope that the effects will prove to be temporary, which is of course what they tell you. with how bad it's been and how much worse it's progressively getting, it's really hard for me to imagine all of this just going away someday.

it's really scary, because this is basically the only condition i know now. everything prior to the conclusion of the treatment is pretty much wiped out. so while in reality my mind had been normal for 27 years and messed up for 9 months, it feels to me like those 9 months are my entire life. it's a hard feeling to explain and i did a horrible job of trying no doubt, but yeah...