I don't think it's what I attract so much as it is a symptom of moving to a new (smaller) city for the first time as an adult (i.e. not in a college environment), and not knowing where to go to meet other, stable, professional lesbian women. I didn't happen to meet any lesbian women at work, or in the organization I volunteer with, or in my young professionals group, or at the gym, or out and about in the city. I simply don't enjoy what you might call "stereotypical" lesbian activities-- I don't like hiking, or watching sports, or camping, or dog parks, or anything else where lesbians might tend to congregate-- nor do I want to meet others who enjoy those activities, since I don't enjoy them. So, where did I go to try and meet other lesbian women? After feeling as though I had exhausted the possibility of meeting other lesbian women in the course of my daily routine, I tried the lesbian bars and the internet (since my city doesn't have an LGBT center or anything similar). At first, the women I met seemed "normal." Then, after really getting to know them, I found out they had a lot of problems. I was slow to cut ties, and allowed myself to get "sucked in" so to speak. Not cutting ties earlier was my issue... that IS a symptom of my not wanting to "abandon" anyone... but this is the first time I've ever been around people with substance abuse issues or people who lie chronically, and it really caught me off guard and, quite frankly, I didn't know what to do. My first instinct was to try and "help"-- and now, I've realized that I can't help... it doesn't work that way. So, I've learned something from this and I won't be doing it again. I have no future plans to go out to the lesbian bars and I deleted my online profile over a month ago, so I don't see myself making these mistakes again. I have plenty of "normal" non-lesbian friends, and that's good enough right now. In fact, on the upside, I hosted a backyard 4th of July party yesterday, and had a fantastic time and got my mind off of this for awhile!