If I'm aware there is some level of need or test then I'm learning to be more upfront and talk about it when its identified. Like the example critterlady gave with surgery - I've done that before and wished my T had asked and been hurt when he didn't. Now I ask before hand, let him clearly know what I expect, realise that he will probably let me down because my needs don't meet the reality of who he is as a person, and then sometimes I've been pleasantly surprised instead. It's the times I don't know that I'm wanting a reaction until later when I find it wasn't there and I wanted it! then I start thinking well ... was it a test; if it was he will probably fail all tests and remembering the many times I've read here things along the line of don't test your T's because they will fail

Hankster that's really interesting about the idea of T following along with 5 things at once; makes a lot of sense

Thanks for everyones input Also planning to mention this with my T