((((((((((safehugs))))))))))
im sorry he put you in this position Jan. you might be surprised but you WERE strong enough to deal with this. you stood up to him and kept control while talking to him and then you did the best thing you could have and came here to post looking for support. now all you have to do is to find a way to let others here and irl give you the gentle care and praise you so badly need and deserve.
i can understand that it is so hard right now but because of the way you handled it i believe you will come through this so much stronger a person that you are even now. imagine how cool that is that you are heading solidly towards a place where he will have NO power over you at all! you re healing is helping you be the person he CRUMBLES in front of because he cant touch you anymore.
if you would like im here holding you while it sinks in what a victory you just had sweetheart.