Yes, I think you're exactly right. I've completely extricated myself from the situation at this point; if I get a call, I won't take it. I'm done, no matter what.

But I think you hit the nail on the head about what I've been feeling. I was feeling like she was taking advantage of me, and I was feeling resentful. I was trying to be a nice person, and I felt slapped in the face.

When we first became friends, she told me about her difficult childhood-- and there were some parallels-- so I told her about mine, as well. I don't usually share those details of my life with people, but because I felt she went through something similar, I decided to be open with her. That's actually how we became friends. I also told her that I started going to therapy in order to process my childhood, and I asked her if she thought therapy might help her, too. She said yes and she asked me for a referral. So, I went out of my way to get my T to recommend someone for her, and then when she got nervous about going to her first appointment and asked if I would drive her there, I agreed. I thought "well, if she's willing to get help, I want to be supportive and do what I can to make this easier for her." I mean, how many of us wish that we had someone to support us when we first decided to seek therapy? I wish I had someone who would have been supportive of me, instead of hearing my family say to me: "why do therapy? that's stupid! you don't need that!" Because I didn't have someone support me around therapy, I thought it would be nice for me to support someone else. BUT-- she quit therapy in a matter of sessions, started drinking/taking drugs more, started treating me poorly, and started disrespecting my boundaries. It felt violating because she knew exactly what I'd been through when I was younger, and she was treating me in a way that triggered those feelings in me. I told her, when I first brought up the issue of her not respecting my boundaries, "Hey, remember when I told you about how I had to set boundaries with my family? Remember when we talked about those things? This is like that for me. I need to set these boundaries with you in order to protect myself. Do you get that?" She said yes, so I THOUGHT that she understood and that she could process that. What I've realized, thanks to this thread, is that I was expecting her to think and act like a sober person-- and she isn't sober. When she's drunk, she only has the ability to think about herself. And that's why I had to completely cut ties wit her.

I also think it's fair to say that I might be too quick to lend a helping hand. My dad is very much a caretaker, and he raised me to be the same way. He taught me that if you're doing well and someone asks for your help, then you help them. It's only now, as an adult, that I realize, sometimes, that isn't the best policy. Helping others can actually create dependency; you can be an enabler; you can give too much and then feel resentful. I suppose it's better sometimes to just mind my own business. I guess it just takes me awhile to figure out where the line is between helping a friend and getting myself sucked into a bad situation.