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I don't see that hoping the T will respond in a certain way is a "test". I think sometimes you just want him (or anyone for that matter) to care. For example, say you call your T and cancel because you have the flu. The next week, let's say you are so sick with a fever you forgot to cancel your appointment altogether with T. Wouldn't it be somewhat natural to hope that your T would think enough of you to call and see how you are? Some people might say, oh well I guess Doris is sick again. Let me see if I can get in some paperwork during her hour. No thought of calling Doris at all because she is just a filler between 2 - 3 pm. I don't see any "test" in that scenario, neither intentional or unintentional. It's just someone wanting their T to care. Maybe that is too much to ask for? IDK.
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it's more that I caught myself thinking he failed that test; without having realised there was one. I know my T does care; even though I struggle with remembering and believing it at times
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Hmm. Yes, that might be normal. So I wonder if the t-cl relationship isn't 50-50, but the t waits until the client has approached him 90% of the way. YKWIM? Do we have to put ourselves out there that much more? They don't make it easy for us. Plus if it were easy for us, would we be in t?
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Not sure hankster; then we have our T's own peculiarities to account for eg. mine responds to certain things differently to most people I know which compounds the confusion at times