I hope I don't come off as annoying or whiny. I have absolutely no one to talk to, this website's the only place I feel comfortable talking to others. So, I hope you don't mind we venting my feelings a bit. (If this isn't allowed, feel free to delete this thread - I apologize upfront).

I've just feel having a really awful week. I'm constantly angry for no reason and I keep hurting my parents' and my sister's feelings. I've been feeling guilty all the time for being such a disappointment to my parents. My dad was talking about how his colleague's daughter graduated from University - and I couldn't help but wonder how disappointed and embarrassed he must feel about his own daughter not being able to go to college or work or anything. It was his birthday last week and he wanted to take us out to his favorite restaurant, and I was too terrified to go. I've been getting nightmares every day since Sunday, and I just feel anxious all the time. I feel like I'm choking.

I mean, I was just thinking... what I lived alone? Without my family to help me? I wouldn't be able to do anything. Absolutely nothing. I've not walked in my own house garden for two years. It's right outside my door and I can't do it. Why does merely steeping out of the front door scare me so much? I've never been so afraid of anything in my entire life. I'm so tired of being afraid all the time.

Oh God, I'm so sorry for this post. I realize how terribly immature I sound. I'm sorry...