View Single Post
healingme4me
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
4,168 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Trig Jul 06, 2013 at 04:30 AM
 
Strangest thing, last year, on the 22 year marker. I really hadn't thought much of the date in question, until last year. I was, already in a funk, because July 15th is my mom's birthday. BUT, on the 14th of July, last year, I just melted. I had taken the kids out, think for ice cream, and came home and cried and cried and cried.

And I remembered. The 14th, was that fateful day, in St. Louis, MO. I made that final cut, in a campground(KOA?) shower. Saw vein, felt like some(thing/one) was hugging me and said/heard/imagined "Please don't, it will get better, I promise."

I have spent, the better portion of this entire year, trying to figure out, why, the day before my mom's birthday. What brought me to that place.

See, we were apart, my mom and myself. Had spent the better part of the month of July, travelling/RVing, across country with my father, his (soon to be/then wife) and her daughter(by this date, my stepsister).

During the end of June until I believe the 1st of July, I'd been in Boston at an overnight basketball camp. The last day of camp, I took two very hard falls. One from a jump ball, landed perpendicular straight down on my derriere..ouch. Then, chasing the ball, slid, on my rear, straight into the corner of a wall. At which point, I ended up at a local hospital, x-rayed and had a fractured coccyx.

When called, to come up, and either pick me up or fill my prescription codeine, my dad said he wouldn't be able to make it, until the next day, when it was pick up time. I spent the night on my stomach. Softly crying, as I didn't want to wake up my roommate who was also a classmate and teammate of mine.

Next day came. I was picked up. Drove to the South Shore area, got home and waited for him to go to the pharmacy to pick up my medication. By the time I go it, I took my pill and immediately vomited.

Then, it was time to pack up the RV and head cross country, with a donut pillow in tow. An important note, about this trip. I was on punishment for receiving a D in Algebra, 9th grade. All my other grades were normal, for me, A's and B's. So, they took my walk-man and all my cassettes, put them in a brown bag and said, too bad.

I spent that trip, reading VC Andrews, her entire series to that date. Flowers in the Attic, looking back...odd how I could relate and identify with characters in her series. And I spent this road trip, pretty much, mostly on my stomach or side.

I remember one stop, at a restaurant. The benches were hard. I said, I needed to go back and get my 'donut'. My father's girlfriend, told me, oh it doesn't hurt that bad, I broke my tailbone giving birth.

Her daughter, 2 years younger than me, I was 15, had a knack for meeting and making friends with all the boys along the way. I usually got the sidekick guy. Well, not got, certainly nothing physical along those lines, but she just had to make friends with all the boys.

We spent the 4th in Nashville. Fireworks were, well, beyond my memory right now.

Spent some time in Little Rock. Crossed the Mississippi River. Texas is dry heat and a lot of flatlands. The Grand Canyon is immense. The Rockies are well, rocky--Appalachians are filled with trees.

Ended up in Arizona, where my father's girlfriend's ex-in-laws lived. Her daughter and son's grandparents. (Why didn't he go, again?)
They left the two of us there, and took off for Vegas and to see the Hoover Dam. I saw a tarantula, walk near me. I stayed still, it walked on by. The grandparents took us across the border to Needles, CA, for some reservation priced smokes. Took us to an old western town, saw a mock shoot-out. And learned to watch out, rattlers can jump! Also, the grandfather taught us how to make jewelry and I made my own garnet earrings.

My father and his new bride came back. My new stepsister and I were beyond dismayed. Rather hurt and angry, "why didn't you say anything? Maybe we'd have liked to have been there to witness this?!" Hmpph was the reply, how dare us be upset on their most joyous occasion?! Oh and by the way girls, instead of heading through California and up through the northern part of the States, like planned, we are going back pretty much the way we came and are stopping at [my grandparents home] in PA.

I remember nothing more than tears, arguments, mass chaos, until we reached St. Louis. That arch is rather big! And there is a Six Flags, there too. Spent the day. They gave us a meeting time, some spending cash, and meeting spot. Rode the loop-de-loop, with some friends sidekick. Perhaps the reason for this, is she seemed much more easier than myself?! Sorry, sidekicks, seriously, I didn't want to be a 'sidekick', any more than yourself!!

Got back to that campsite, as the opening describes. That's when I bandaged myself up, after just sitting down, knees bent, arms around my legs and a sobbing mess. Went to the payphone, and called my mom, told her about the change in plans for the roadtrip. And I told her all about the presents I had picked up for her, from my sitting money, along the way. Both of which, she always displayed, one at work, the other at home. One a picture of collie dogs, hand painted/crafted, the other a pueblo pottery vase.

I didn't tell her, I didn't tell anyone. One would need to ask to learn. Most people, don't ask.

Arrived at my grandparents. They had a lake behind their home. I spent my couple of days, there, swimming. Which, wasn't unusual for me.

And this whole year, I worried that I would have such pain in my wrist, as I came closer to understanding and feeling my story.

Guess what?! My wrist doesn't hurt, but honest to goodness, I feel like I've broken my tailbone, all over again!!! Literally!!! Not kidding!!

Symbolic, or what?!!? MY butt is in pain!! Some life experience, has been the biggest pain in my butt!!!

That's my story, 8 days earlier than I ever imagined, but there it is!!
healingme4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
allimsaying, Fuzzybear, Rohag, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
allimsaying, Rohag