So after a couple weeks of managing and feeling mostly good, I am on the downward slide. Just last night I felt productive, in control of my thoughts, I wasn't sad. Now it just hits me out of nowhere- sadness and anxiety, tears. It makes me feel weak so I let in the thoughts that usually get me down because that's what my reality feels like. Maybe I am just kidding myself the rest of the time.
My family disappoints me.
I'm disappointed that I am still single.
I feel like a failure as a parent.
Work is stressful.
I just feel defeated.
That's life, right? When I think of how many years I've suffered with depression and how many more I have to go... The ups and downs. I know there will be an upswing, just like I know there will be another downward spiral at some point. I hate that!