Lola, I'm right there with you in the emotions shut down place...

I've gotten myself to such a place that I can't remember a thing my t has said. I'm not even sure I can remember the reason that I wanted to go to T... Its like when I think about it all...it can't stay in my head... like all of a sudden it's in a foreign language or something.

so I just keep swimming... doing laundry, coloring my hair, washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen... just keep swimming... just keep swimming...

I'm lying in my bed... (not literally) but as the expression goes... You've made your bed and now you have to lye in it (not the right version of lie but I'm too lazy to look up the grammatically correct version)...