I will let you know, for sure - I may even post pictures if they are not too embarrassing (knowing how genuinely talented you and others here are!)

H is happily oblivious to my state of mind. (He doesn't know I see a therapist, so he has no idea that things are difficult for me, you see. Which is of course not his fault, it's my decision not to tell him.) He treats me really well, in every possible way.

I can relate to what you say, granite, and you are neither small nor selfish. Your issues are as important as anybody else's, and you have to deal with really difficult stuff.