I'm just so sorry Rose. It hurts to know that someone we desperately want to connect with in a more positive way just doesn't want to play ball. I don't have much advice to give as sadly the relationship i share with my Mother is also an unhappy one. I hope the support team you have is helping you in finding ways to get through this. Carry on being as civil and interested as you can - i'm not sure how involved you are with your Mother at this point but if you still send birthday cards, occasional letters, gifts if they're appropriate etc - carry on doing so but either way kudos to you for trying to work this out. Respect and dignity are qualities they will never be able to tarnish. Wishing you all the best dearheart