I found out about him in December, about two weeks before I met him at Christmas. He's a nice kid, a good boy. I love kids in general. (I'm a teacher.) I just don't date guys with kids for several reasons, but decided to give this relationship a chance because I fell in love already, but I think it's proving too much for me to handle. I have tried to plan the week as much as possible, planning meals, activities, etc. but I don't know if it's helping.

My panic is telling me to break off the relationship, an otherwise good relationship, and find someone without a kiddo. My logical side is telling me that, since I am closing in on 30, that more and more guys are going to have kids, so I might as well get used to it. My heart is just aching (still) at the sting of what I consider a betrayal of my trust and at the fact the kid exists..as terrible of a person as it makes me sound.

I've talked about this in the relationship forum and got some great advice on how to deal with the kiddo thing, but I am just experiencing such..I don't now a better word...anxiety and panic over the whole thing. It seems to be getting worse the closer it is to him being here.

I will try the deep breathing you suggested because it will help take me from my emotional locus to my logical one. My logical side is MUCH easier to deal with. Thank you for your advice.

I am not going to make any decision on the relationship until: I stop with the PMS, see my therapist, and get my results.