Testify by Amy Studt, however its more related to my SI past.

I've been cheating
Myself for too long
Living as if
I was going nowhere
And I know it's wrong

I've been fighting
Myself for too long
I tried, really tried
To keep my head up high

And I know it's wrong
And I should really know better
But it's been so long

I know, how I feel, but
I'm afraid to show it inside
It's so real, but no one else would know it
The whole truth, and no lies
Cutting deeper I can hear my soul cry
Come on, testify
Come on, testify

I've been lying
To myself for too long, silence
Was my only comfort
And I know it's wrong
But I can't change the weather
It's been too long

I know how I feel, but I'm
Afraid to show it inside
It's so real, but no one else would know it
The whole truth, and no lies
Cutting deeper I can hear my soul cry
Come on, testify
Come on, testify

To the friends that I've lost on the way
To the friends I've been pushing away
You could say that I've made
It, but I'm jaded
And inside I'm falling

I know, how I feel, but
I'm afraid to show it inside
It's so real, but no one else would know it
The whole truth, and no lies
Cutting deeper I can hear my soul cry
Come on, testify
Come on, testify

I've been fighting
Myself for too long
And I've been hating
Myself for too long