I am so sorry for your loss, Butterflying. There are some things we can't ever be fully prepared for, even though we know that they will happen - such as the death of a parent. You need more support than just being able to text your T when you are in danger of self harm... you need to be able to talk about your mother, for instance.
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I wish I could slip away without a trace. I'm depleted, alone, and sad. I don't care about material possessions. This world seems devoid of what I need; family, friends, support, love...I don't know what to do.
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Grief can do this. I know this doesn't help to hear, but with time, the grief becomes less acute. You will never forget your mother, but the sorrow will lessen, a little, after a while. But that takes time. I hope you will be able to find support somewhere. Maybe call a support line? Go to a grief counselling centre or something like that?