I am a wreck today. I really just wish could run so far away from life. I asked my husband if he would come with me to talk to my parents. I told him that its time that I behave like an adult and be the bigger person and try and sort things out and communicate my feelings once and for all. At least try to make things better. If it doesn't work then at least I tried and I can feel better maybe. Who knows. He just absolutely refuses to do it. He said I could go if I wanted but h wants nothing to do with It. He says that he doesn't want to see her. I told him I understood his reason but I asked him if he could do this one thing for me since I have neve asked him of anything before. I mentioned that I have put up with and dealt with so much with his ex wife and children, but he says that he has no control over that. I mean I have to live with his children half the time that do not respect us nor even look at us and he has no control over that? These kids treat me terribly, I can't stand it anymore. I have to find my voice and really put them in their place the way I do with my own children. Why should they get away doing these things to us when it's unacceptable for our children to behave that wAy. I feel if my husband would have done something when they were younger we all would have had a better relationship now. I just feel like he should put himself in my shoes for once. It really hurts. I can't stop crying. Yes my family is absolutely dysfunctional, and yes I know all th things that my mother has done to me, but maybe theres a chance things could be better if one of us tries. I mean, I'm having this baby in less than ten weeks. I just would feel so much better if I knew I tried. I mean it was him and my mother who started this. He can be a bit abrasive at times, but this is ridiculous.
I feel like I'm crazy and I feel like he's making me crazy.