I promised myself just a few moments ago that I would call the crisis care line tonight after I put my kids to bed. They over help over the phone if for nothing else just someone to talk to. But, also offer referrals and information for getting help. Its for the county. I am just afraid that they would turn it all around on me and tell me I am a bad mother and the next thing I know they take my kids and tell me I am unfit.

I have never, ever physically harmed my children but, I have yelled and screamed at them for no fault of their own. I feel so horribly guilty for it and know it has to stop. That is why I am trying so hard now to get the help I need to be a better parent and not have kids who grow up to hate me.