Sorry, I missed the bold part on the first reading.

As you know, the desire to give comfort and physical affection to loved ones, and, even to those whom we might not love deeply but still care about at least a bit, is not sexual in nature, and, is not even human in nature - it is just mammal. My cats give comfort and affection to me and to one another. And, of course they have all been fixed.

So when you say that you are done, literally, I think that you are saying, in essence, that you do not want to live with a woman who has not given you any comfort or physical affection for almost a decade. Many people in your shoes would react in the same way.

Also, humans have the ability to feel compassion for their loved ones, and it seems that your injury and pain should have given your wife MORE rather than FEWER reasons to give you comfort and physical affection in the PAST (before your sexual re-awakening). To the extent that she withdrew altogether rather than became more compassionate, the whole situation is weird and the wife comes across as being inhumane towards you.

That said, and being a devil's advocate, I would like to ask you if you did something (unintentionally perhaps) to cause it, because, as we know, it is really hard to live with so much pain, and you could have become embittered, easily angered, demanding, and unaffectionate yourself. Perhaps it was you who first stopped giving her comfort and physical affection? Because you say that she understood it when the meds caused the sexual problems, but why did you stop non-sexual physical contact? Could it be that you had your share of contribution to this problem? Did you withhold affection from her in the past?

Lastly, on co-existence (she says she wants to co-exist). You know those bumper stickers saying COEXIST and showing the symbols of various faiths? So, coexistence is GREAT if it is a step forward from cutting each other's throats. If Arabs and Jews could co-exist peacefully in the Middle East, that would be terrific.

But for a husband and wife, to just co-exist does not sound inspiring.