Having surgery this week. I had a bad feeling about this surgery, that's why I canceled it before, but every time I think it's getting better it gets much worse. They say if this doesn't work, it's a university hospital. I wanted to try an MAO, because this depression is getting really serious, but MAO's and surgery are a big no-no. And I'm having more surgery soon, for something else, around August, September maybe. I have to stick around for my kids, husband, parents, siblings, friends. In the meantime my psychopathic sibling J is pouring it on which he does every time I'm vulnerable, as in ill or stressed.