I felt very scared about the idea that therapy would likely change me into a different person - what if I turned into someone that previous-me wouldn't even like? Who was I gonna be? Now I think, well I've tried this way of being for 20 years, it's had its good points but also it's clear that in some ways it's really really not working. Now it's time to try something new. And anyway, I'll be a different person in any case in 10 years time, all people change as they grow up, so I might as well make sure I'm a happy, healthy different person.

I agree that working with emotions is a lot like music practice. Learning intellectually what notes make up a piece doesn't allow you to play it, you have to learn by putting it into practice again and again. Emotions are the same, you have to build new neural networks of compassionate responses and helpful coping mechanisms.

I found that emotions are smart beasts, they don't just follow what we say we believe, they watch what we actually do. For example, when tackling anxiety, I can tell myself till I'm blue in the face that a situation is safe, but until I start acting like it's safe and forcing myself to do what I'm scared of, my anxiety will still think that it needs to be scared. So therapy needs practice and application for it to have much effect.